Just being facetious but I noticed that your Username in all your other things has your name in it as well
Moderators cannot change user names; but I think Administrators can (Eli, Arn, etc). Otherwise, how else did I end up with the username Undeadcow?!?
I've also wished I could change my name, but citing "Because this new name would be so much more clever and cooler than my current one" isn't sufficient justification
Haven't you already had your Touch Arcade user name changed once before? First Drummerboycroy and now it's ColeDaddy...
Oh... that makes sense; got confused by the signature quote. My username has always been Undeadcow, poor attempt at humor there.